ß

Ah, you might say, Beta? Are you being Beta-tested mo? Wrong. It's the Eszett.

Eszett for life motherfluffer*.

I wanted to draw to your attention what it is I exactly do on the internet. Most of the time I read informative articles on the world, on specific topics, whatever. But I'm not talking that. I'm talking fun stuff. And here are three I want to point out in particular.

First off, IT'S TEAM GENIUS!



They have a short series that is full of awesomeness, and are currently uploading season 2 to Youtube.

Second, IT'S THE YOGSCAST!



That video doesn't give justice to how awesome these guys' series are. They play a whole bunch of games, including WoW, Fallout: New Vegas, Minecraft, and whatever comes out, and they are just freaken hilarious about it.

Third, IT'S CR1TIKAL!



Just watch him.

Gotta go, keep reading Josh's posts, he is a very funny man and he likes it when people read them, it makes his man-love for Chi have purpose.

-mo

*josh doesn't like me swearing. he threatens me with johnny gan.

CNY Present...

So, since I'm not married, I can't give each of the readers a red packet.

However, I can give you 'Asian' media to watch!  Hope you enjoy Johnny Gan LOL.  Courtesy of my cousins from Melbourne.

Pongo may or may not be chasing after Chi.  You'd be surprised, Pongo is fast on his feet.

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

-Josh

Chinese New Year!

So, it's Chinese New Year's Eve!  A new year has never really begun until Of course, since the readers of this blog may or may not have seen me, and thus may or may not be completely unaware of my ethnic background.  Though ordinarily, in honour of Mr Yeo and the secrecy surrounding his own ethnicity, I would keep this in the dark (Did I say dark?  How racist.), the occasion demands this revelation.  Yes sir, I am an ABC.  I love KFC, with a side of SPC.  I play on PS3's.  I bank with ANZ and insure stuff with NIB.  Sure, I don't mind AFL, but support NRL - no betting with TAB however.  Love UFC - especially playing on PS3.  Yes, I am certainly an ABC.  QED.

Anyway, in welcoming in the new year as the Year of the Rabbit, I thought I'd point out some key reasons why rabbits are awesome.

1. 'Rabbit' is a cool word.  Say 'rabbit' 20 times and you start to say 'ribbit'.  And we know that frogs are awesome, as proven by Jiraiya and Naruto.  Clearly a cool word.
2. Rabbits are cute and furry.  Exhibit A:

3. Rabbits are smart, as shown by Bugs Bunny (its a rabbit, not a hare.  I asked him personally).  Seriously, aside from his mad evasion skills, that guy can make a mean speech.
4. Rabbits taught Chi specialised travelling skills: Scurrying, jumping, pouncing, and most importantly, hopping (which, in turn gave birth to many derivatives like hopscotch, hip hop, Hopawarty).
5. Rabbits are celebrated in popular media - Alice in Wonderland and The Matrix.
6. Rabbits have mad reproduction skills.
7. Rabbits are clean creatures: Not only do they groom themselves, but did you know that rabbits cannot vomit?  Also, Bugs Bunny pays close attention to his personal hygiene.
8. Even if you don't like rabbits, you could kill them if you must.  Then you can eat them - Yum!  Even in death, they are selfless creatures.

I'll leave it at that: Eight's a lucky number, right?  Even though its 2 times 4.  

Hope everyone has a Happy Chinese New Year!

-Josh  

If a European guy asks you where Parameter Road is...

I've had this 'invitation' on facebook for a while now: 'Compliment a Stranger' day.  To the untrained eye, this may seem...nice.  I hate to be a pain, but I do have a few minor problems with it.  Firstly, 'stranger danger'.  How could such a well established statement be wrong?  More importantly, it rhymes - stranger rhymes with danger, and danger with stranger, (and manger, but not hanger) - and this makes its truthfulness resonate universally.  

However, its deception is more subtle.  It presumes that we all innately are able to deliver compliments with ease.  Of course, this may be true for some.  For example, Mo - he has been knighted (I think by the Queen...Or was it by the band...Wait, was he actually knighted?) for his 72 minute long speech, where every sentence was a compliment.  But for others, paying compliments may not be our strong suit.

Anyway, why should we keep compliments to a single day?  We should compliment people everyday!  Maybe just not to strangers - be strong and please, stay away from the candy.  Regardless, I thought I'd provide three simple ground rules for making compliments, as a guide for the kind-hearted readers of this blogs (yes, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are kind-hearted.  It's a safe assumption given that there is probably no-one actually reading this blog - I know I wouldn't be).

Rule 1: There's never a bad time to pay a compliment!

Example: Hey man, cool haircut!  Oh, it's like that cos you're balding?  At least you won't have to pay for haircuts in the future!

Chi was the first to test drive this compliment.  He soon discovered the man was a Russian bounty hunter: the feared 'Balding Boris'.  And yes, he's been skiing down the slopes, dodging bullets, running for his life - you know, all that jazz.  Man, Chi gets to travel so much...


Rule 2: If the situation is awkward, remedy it with a compliment!

[Your friend (party-er wannabe) finds out he wasn't invited to a party on the weekend hosted by a mutual friend (Hoster of Party/Parties).  A confrontation ensues...so say something along the lines of...]

Example: Hey, by the way, great party!  (then whisper to other friend: No it wasn't really a great party, I'm just trying to pay a compliment...but good job on the assignment over the weekend!)

Double compliment = Double diffusion of awkwardness.

Rule 3: Honest compliments are always the best compliments.

Example: You know what?  You look really good with make up on.  Much better than...well, you know.  Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch better.  [For some reason, immediately after making this comment, I impulsively sprinted away.  The oddities of life.]

Anyway, I'm off, happy complimenting!

-Josh

P.S.  Before I forget this story I was told:  My friend had a European guy as his Engineering teacher back in high school.  There was this one day where the whole class was racking their brains to figure out what the teacher was talking about.  The teacher kept saying (with a strong accent)  'Do you know where Parameter Road is?  I need to get to Parameter Road tonight.'  Finally, they figured out that he meant 'Parramatta', just pronouncing it terribly.

Sherlock Holmes was in fact the murderer?! I must have missed that part...

Last week, to my great disappointment, I discovered a fatal flaw in the game 'Cluedo'.  I was running around from room to room, making all these wild accusations about the other civilised members around the table.  Candlestick this, wrench that.  Firstly, this is completely not in my character.  I'd never make an accusation without some sort of fact base.  C'mon, who does that?

'So, at 9:55pm last night, did I not see you dancing with the deceased in the ballroom? A salsa, if I recall correctly?  Where was I at the time, you ask?  Hm...let me think...oh yes, I was having a marathon match of snooker in the billards room with Mr Green!  Oh dear...okay, accusation withdrawn.  BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU MR GREEN?!  Oh that's right, snooker match, got it...'

But what vexed me the most was the fact that in this game, I was apparently the murderer.  How does one forget killing the Professor with a knife in the kitchen??  Obviously, if I knew this fact, I would have done the smart thing and run off the game board away from all these crazed crime-solving yuppies, gone to Monopoly, jumped into the car and rented a place to sleep in.  (Not Mayfair of course; I'm too Asian for that.)  Stupid lousy communist game.

Though flawed, just like communism taught us something, we can also learn things from Cluedo.  The murderer was Mrs White, and probably will always be Mrs White.  This is why I don't trust amiable elderly ladies on the street.

And I didn't get to say this last post: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

-Josh