You put the can't in Cantonese

Hong Kong.  Allow me to give you a run-down of my first impressions in this great land.  Also, salutations to our glorious leader Mao.  (CRAP did I say it too late?  That's just gaybar.  Don't ping me again for talking!).

a) Ran into Nestor and Larissa Ho whilst collecting baggage.  Haven't seen Nestor in an ages, last time would have been when we were learning about the 'apex rule' with Mr Iverach hahaha.  Small world, isn't it.
b) Taxi driver which made it feel like we were constantly 20 kms over the speed limit.  However, he was legally under the speed limit, according to his speedo at least...
c) Once we reached the hotel, plugged in the computer, ready to blog about my trip to Hong Kong!  Then realised 12:30am in Hong Kong was 3:30 in Sydney =(.  Once again, I've been thwarted by the Earth's tendency to spin on its axis.
d) Last but not least, it is a very sad sad situation to walk around the streets of Hong Kong without knowing a word of Cantonese.  Makes the world feel like a big place.


Anyway, on the plane trip up, I began to ponder about girls.  In particular, I was thinking about the concept of having a girlfriend outside your 'weight range'.  See, I don't think it's fair to say a girl is 'too hot' for another guy, which is how the concept of weight range or league is commonly used.  That's freaking superficial.  However, in my opinion, there definitely exists girls who are technically out of a guy's league: girls who are taller than the guy (that's not superficial at all).  Man oh man, you definitely put the man in manliness if you can get a girl who is taller than you.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but girls will generally not even consider a guy who she looks down upon, in either sense of the phrase.  By the way, I'm not talking single centimetres here.  Twenty centimetres or over, and a girl must visibly tilt her head downwards to talk to you and risks neck injury in the long term, as the chance of neck injury is directly proportional to disparity in height.  Date a Jessica Alba, or a Cheryl Cole; not bad...I guess?  But if you can date a girl whose legs reach into the stratosphere, then, brave knight, I salute you.

If you actually read that, I lol at you.  lololol.  Unless you read this first, and thus did not even attempt to read the paragraph above.  Then, I'm just sad.  Not tricked at all =(.

Back to the topic of this blog: the importance of speaking Cantonese when one visits Hong Kong.

-There's a hot halfie girl on the train.  But you can't talk to her, because you CAN'T speak Cantonese.  But that's not too bad, because apparently, I'm forbidden to have a girlfriend until I'm 23 courtesy of Joy =(.  Let me offer you another one.

-You're lost, and forgot to bring a map.  In Australia, if you're desparate, you'd ask someone on the street.  But, what a shame, you're gonna have to set up camp on the streets of Hong Kong because you CAN'T speak Cantonese.

-You're hungry, and are dying to have a prawn dumpling at Yum Cha, but you've forgotten it's called Har Gow.  Unfortunately, you're belly is going to have to go without the delicacy, and decides to produce extra HCl to chew away at your stomach lining in order to punish you for your incompetency, because you CAN'T speak Cantonese.

-You're lost again (not too good at geography), and you forgot a map again (forgetful much?), so you decide to build up the courage to string together some bits of Cantonese.  However, your accent is so bad it makes the passerbys think your speaking in Arabic, and jump to the conclusion that you're a terrorist.  You better use your arms to cover your head, cos you're on a one-way ticket to Disney "get-beaten-up-by-angry-HK-baton-wielding-policemen" Land, because, guess what, you CAN'T speak Cantonese (properly).

-You're required by law to dunk your head in the nearest toilet, because you CAN'T speak Cantonese.  Chi better not be lying to me about that one. 

The moral of the story is simple:
a) Learn Cantonese before entering Hong Kong, or they will kungfu your ass, big time, in one or many of the above ways.
b) Chi has travelled across the lands.  It's true, he speaks Mandarin, not Cantonese.  But his travelling exploits require no introduction, and serves as an important lesson to us all.

Wow, its 2:20 here, which means its 5:20 in the beautiful land I like to call Australia, where no one is discriminated against for imcompetency in Cantonese.

Would love to stay and chat, but my head hurts =(.

cya later,

Josh