Date? It's the 5/2/2010.

Howdy partners.

I must admit to Mo and Fung, I lost.  We were having a MSN conversation yesterday/early today.  Fung and Mo perfectly executed a 'Reverse somersault and kick-Josh-in-his-unprotected-non-steel-nether-regions'.  While our conversation originally began on the topic of Sam's Ramen challenge (I am so sorry Sam : < ), it quickly turned to my dating history, and suddenly arrived at 'Josh, can you please ask out one of the Singaporean locals to dinner?'  I knew time was of the essence, so I quickly retorted 'Can I not?'  In these tenuous situations, answering back quickly throws them off their game; it's as if you expected them to ask the question.  Also, it's particularly important that you fight questions with questions, because it bamboolzes the opponent and makes them lose their balance; hopefully, they will fall over, hit their head and forget they even asked the revolting question.  However, this did not happen =(.

A huge argument of magnificent proportions ensued.  Fung's argument was two-fold:

1. There's no consequence.  Go up to her, ice-break etc and get to know her.  Then, tell her you're only gonna be in town for a few more days and would like to take her to dinner, no strings attached, with the aim of eating good food, getting to know the other and have fun. 
2. It offers 'good exp'.  Granted, the relationship is going no where, but it offers both of you the dating experience, you can make mistakes with no real repercussions, and ultimately, any experience is good experience. 

Of course, I had a two-fold counter-argument of my own.  However, it is fair to say mine was much more simplistic than Fung's.  It's complicated, so I won't dwell on it; however, in essence, my answers to his above questions were:

• No thanks
• I don't agree

I just flicked my eye to the television, to see my uncle watching a kung-fu movie with a woman fighter putting up a good fight against her male opponent.  That would be pretty epic if my girlfriend could fight awesomely.  Then, if an axe-wielding foe dared approach me, I could call out 'Darling, I'm in trouble!', and then hide behind her crane-style kung-fu as she systematically disarmed the man then crane-style palmed his nose repetitively until he ran away, looking even more girly than myself. 

Anyway, I have nothing much to say about Fung's proposition.  Yes, it offers a potentially fun experience, and yes, there are no observable consequence.  However, it just seems wrong, I don't know why.  So, what to do?  How does one balance the head with the heart?  I've come up with a potential resolution.  'Cos it feels so wrong, I'll go on a date, under the circumstances that she is:

• Good-looking
• Sense of humour.  Even retarded sense of humour, just give me something to work with.
• Intelligence.  Most Singaporeans are reasonably well educated, so I'll let this one slide.
• Christian.
• Assertive.  Isn't a doormat; won't put up with unreasonable crap.  

Not an extensive list.  It's within reasonable bounds, I think?  Oh, I forgot a few things:

• When I said good-looking, I actually mean hot beyond belief.  When I ask 'Did you just fall from the sky, because you look as glorious as an angel', I must actually believe every word I utter, and believe this question, within reasonable bounds, will be answered 'Yes, how could you tell?', in which I will say 'You're hotness is beyond belief...lololol.'
• Can sing like an angel.  Girls with a beautiful voice can constitute super hot.  Sure, it may be hard to show you can sing when one is in a crowded and noisy club, but this means she must also have:
• Initiative.  Shows she takes initiative by creating the opportunity to sing!
• Like/appreciate something strange.  But not too strange, otherwise I'll be forced to back away...very slowly... Something like an Anime, DotA, blogging, Arrested Development etc; something I wouldn't expect, and thus is interesting to talk about.

And thats about it.  Oh wait, no, I lied.  She should be 168cm tall (it's ok, I'll bring my trusty measuring tape, not awkward at all).  And, one would presume she has had specialise super-hero training, so she can fly me around the world.  Oh, and it would be good if she's in the process of transferring to Australia.  Otherwise I'll never see her again, and that would make me sad in my heart.

Oh wait, one more thing: she should be a ninja.  Then she can protect me, just like the kung-fu girl from before, since ninja are masters of all kinds forms of combat.  

It's possible.  Ok, maybe a little unreasonable; just a tiny bit.

You, the faithful readers, must all think I am childish.  However, I must insist I can be very mature and serious when situations dictate its necessity.  Oh, by the way, loving the fact that all the drinks we've bought in Singapore are consumed with straws; it's super awesome to blow bubbles into my soy bean drink =).  

Okay, this mature writer should finish up his post.  But, I'll part with you with a question.  Mid way through semester 2 during lunch, Louise pointed out a strange phenomenum: guys tend to shower facing the shower head, while girls tend to face away from the shower head.  Which makes more sense to you, and why?  Of course, there are some abnormalities to this rule: Some guys face away, some girls face towards the showerhead, and a small proportion neither face towards nor away, but face in a neutral direction.  I bet Chi is just walking around, changing directions constantly, and wholly uncomfortable with this concept of staying still and not travelling.  I should mention, I do not consider this 'orientation relative to shower head' indicative of one's sexual preference.  Not at all.  Unless its true; then, I claim this as Mosh's Marvellous Measurement of...Mexual preference (it's hard to find other valid synonyms : < ).  It also begs the question: what the heck is Chi and how does he roll...

Anyway, best be off!  Have a good 5th Feb 2010, you're only gonna get one of them ever (Also, it just ticked over to the next day, so all my yesterdays become day before yesterday etc).

Josh